So, after agonizing over all the intricate details of your past employment and education to create a comprehensive outline that avoids all the pitfalls you were warned about in our preceding sections, you took the time and trouble of having a knockout résumé and cover letter written by professionals, preferably here at Résumé-Riter. Then you toiled over newspaper and online classified listings for hours, selecting only the most relevant ads, sent your special message to the keepers of your future career happiness, and expectantly waited for the prize…an interview appointment. Finally, it came. Now what?

Prepare for your interview as though it were a casting call because the next part of the process is an audition for the most important part you will ever have to play to ace the role, making or breaking your immediate career future. Are you thoroughly psyched or freaked out? Well, relax, take a deep breath and memorize the following list of missteps you don’t want to take in the interview dance. Obviously, some of the following tips are made tongue in cheek, but while you’re laughing at the outlandish suggestions, remember they are collected from the real-life experiences of recruiters who said, “you can’t make this stuff up” and “facts can be stranger than fiction.”

Essential Interview Bloopers to Avoid 

* Don’t be too casual or too formal. You want to appear relaxed and confident without being impolite. It is dangerous to assume that being laid back will give you an air of being secure in who you are. It can make you look indifferent, or worse–rude.

On the other hand, being stiff and ultra-conservative can be a turn-off and misinterpreted as being ill-at-ease. As far as the recruiter is concerned, this could be an indicator of trouble down the road because you may not be comfortable in the office landscape. 

* Don’t be too nervous or too relaxed. Get a handle on your nerves. There is nothing more off-putting than speaking to someone who is having gastrointestinal discomfort and bolts out of the room to spare themselves embarrassment, or worse–doesn’t escape in time. You know yourself best…if you have traditionally had pre-test jitters during school, you probably freak out under stress. That being the case, prepare for the interview by having a friend help you rehearse through role-playing at mock interviews.

Another technique is to go to a couple of interviews for jobs that are not your dream job, so if you don’t get the all-important job offer, you won’t be crushed, but the practice will set you at ease for the “big one.” It is not as disingenuous as it seems. Sad to say, but there are recruiters, who comply with company policy to interview a certain number of candidates for each position, may invite you for an interview even though they have already made up their mind to hire an earlier applicant. Moreover, you may be pleasantly surprised and recognize that the second choice job has tremendous potential. 

However, if you’re so relaxed you nod off or zone out on the recruiter, you won’t be highly thought of, either. So, ix nay on having a drink or a toke to relax. Alcohol or drugs are not proper components for interview preparation. Trust us, it won’t make you more eloquent or funny…just dopey. And, worst-case scenario, if they offer you the job contingent on a same-day drug test, you’ll be skewered.

* Don’t let your hubris show by being an egotistical jerk who is cocky and self-absorbed, but don’t be shy, introverted, scaredy-cat, afraid to speak up for yourself. If you are too arrogant and overconfident, you come off as obnoxious, and if too insecure, you will leave the impression that you cannot lead.

* Inappropriate humor versus being dour. Telling over-the-top jokes focusing on politically incorrect humor and using foul language as a means to breaking the ice or showing that you are a “fun” person are all significant blunders. Instead, you come across as an insensitive, offensive clod. Indeed, it is a positive attribute to laugh at your own mistakes; the recruiter is impressed by someone who takes the job seriously but doesn’t take themselves too seriously. On the other hand, doing your stand-up comedy routine when you’re interviewing for an important corporate position is not wise. However, being a wet blanket who doesn’t crack a smile does not bode well as a future employee. A corporate environment is a social structure. Being anti-social inhibits that structure and doesn’t make for a good community fit.

job interview bloopers

Inappropriate behavior – too loose or too stodgy. You shouldn’t flirt with the recruiter, tell inappropriate jokes to break the ice, bore the recruiter with pictures of your pets and kids, bring coffee and donuts to the interview, recline in the chair or put your feet on the furniture. The only physical contact should be a simple handshake, firm but not crushing. No reaching to embrace, stroke, pat, or otherwise engage in touchy-feely moments. On the other hand, don’t sit ramrod straight on the last two inches of the chair, as though you were in the mess hall of a military academy, or shrink away from a handshake as though you were a germaphobe. Also, if you shake hands, don’t apply “jaws of death” pressure and break bones in the other person’s hand. Be respectful, don’t call a recruiter by their first name, “sister,” “girlfriend,” or “dude.” It is ill-advised to get too friendly with someone you only just met, even if they are contemporary. You want to have just enough air of professionalism without being cold, appear easy-going, well adjusted, and comfortable in your own skin. If this is a tall order, practice in front of a mirror. Ask friends to critique your outside behavior when you meet new people.

* Being too chummy, overly talkative, and sharing too much information is a similar mistake. Remember the whole time you are at an interview, your every move is being evaluated as an indicator of future behavior and how it will reflect on how you fit into the corporate environment, the risk you present as an employee, and how your personality will be a detriment or a valuable asset. Don’t be too quick to share, taking a total stranger into your confidence. No matter how well you get along, it’s too early to bond. If you are too forward, become too personal, invading the interviewer’s privacy, or spill your guts sharing embarrassing details about yourself, you may be deemed immature or a time-waster who will fritter time away chatting with co-workers and gossiping. On the other hand, if you answer questions in monosyllables and the interviewer has to drag information out of you with a pry bar, you will be viewed as equally unsuitable for a whole other set of reasons.

* Don’t play hard to get (aloof and snooty) or be too eager (needy and desperate). If you are too distant, you will be perceived as aloof or snooty. Snobs are not a welcome addition to the team. As a rule, recruiters don’t warm up to people who exude disdain or come across as being elitist. Conversely, cloying puppies and clinging vines don’t generally make good workers either.

* Be neither too candid nor too secretive. Don’t volunteer too much or share information of an intensely personal nature with a total stranger. Simultaneously, if you are not forthcoming with information to reasonable questions, you will be thought of as paranoid or having something to hide. This will naturally slant the recruiter’s curiosity in the wrong direction. We often tell people there should be no employment gaps or unexplainable anomalies in a person’s background. Nervousness can cause people to gush or dry up. So, be prepared to answer the obvious questions, which will naturally be asked in an honest, inoffensive, non-defensive way. Practice a pleasant, relaxed tone of voice. When asked a question, carefully listen and consider it deserves, then answer it in a measured, concise and truthful manner. 

job interview

* Improper attire–Victoria’s Secret versus Victorian Prude. First impressions count heavily in the interview. You may be the best candidate with the most qualifications, but you can shoot yourself in the foot with poor wardrobe choices. When in doubt, make a dry run to a similar office and sit in their reception area briefly to observe how the employees are dressed. Even the most creative jobs have a dress code and require varying degrees of decorum. Remember, no matter how relaxed the environment, dress for the position to which you aspire. If you want to be a manager, dress like one. Proper attire is essential if you wish to be taken seriously and not give out the wrong signals. It is dangerous to be looked upon as the office clown or the party girl or unequal to mixing with sophisticated clients because you dress like a Duffus. This can cause you to lose out on essential opportunities or be passed over for promotion. Additionally, men and women need to be aware of appropriate gender-based shoes, hosiery, jewelry, hairstyles, makeup, manicures, and perfume/cologne. Here, a good rule is “Less is more.” It’s okay to wear flip-flops on the subway but change to proper business shoes before you enter the office where your interview is being held. Until you get used to the unofficial office dres’ code, err on the side of caution: shoes require socks/stockings, men’s shirts require ties, pants require belts and jackets, ladies’ tops require bras. Ladies should eschew belly blouses, low-riders slacks, short tee-shirts, spike heels, fishnet stockings, or any other suggestive getups. Men and women should leave non-traditional body piercing jewelry, which shows, at home. Not everyone thinks as highly of eyebrow, nose, and lip rings as you do, and while single pierced earrings are accepted, the image of multiply perforated ear rims can be problematic. Dial it down…and make your fashion statement after the interview. Remember, most human resource managers are older and view anything outlandish by their standards as unprofessional and noncorporate. To them, your Goth look is an Addams Family knock-off from a Halloween costume party, and your body art, whether guy or gal, are tough guy gang-imitating tats, or worse yet, prison inspired.

When we said treat an interview like an audition, we didn’t mean you were trying out for a television sitcom, spoofing real life. So practice discretion and caution. Think carefully about what kind of impression you wish to project and the consequences of imprudent action in speech, behavior, or attire. Any questions? You can always speak with one of our staff for guidance.

Things to Never Say During An Interview

  • Before an interview, do your homework, research the company’s bio, and know its vision and mission statement. Memorize a few of their achievements that impressed you and be able to recite them. Be prepared to make a favorable impression by knowing about the company when asked, “Why do you wish to work for us?” It is better to say, “I admire your philosophy and believe I will feel rewarded in helping you achieve your goals” rather than “It seems like a nice place to work and the pay is good” or “I need a job, and you’re hiring.”
  • Don’t start an interview by asking, “How much does the job pay?” “What are the benefits like?” Those issues will be discussed down the line.
  • Don’t come across as self-absorbed with “How long until I qualify for vacation/ promotion/raise.”
  • When asked, “What are your weaknesses?” Don’t be egotistical and say, “I don’t have any.” Instead, mention a work-related weakness and how you strive to correct it.
  • Don’t lie about abilities. Be truthful about your qualifications. They may catch in a lie, and that’s a deal-breaker. If asked, “Do you know MS Office?” Don’t say: “Yes, all five” if you only know Word. They may ask you to show how you would prepare an Excel spreadsheet or PowerPoint slide.
  • If asked a question, don’t respond with “I don’t know” or “That’s a good question.” Pause to think about the question and rephrase to gain clarification. Respond with, “I have to give that more thought. May I get back to you on it?”
  • If asked, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” don’t be cute and say, “On a beach in Maui” or sarcastic with “I want your job,” or unrealistic with “I want to be head of the company.” Be practical, reasonable, and profound…” I would like to have received merit-based recognition for my contribution to the company and be on a supervisory or managerial track” or “I would like to have risen to a regional field position,” etc.
  • A good rule of thumb is to be your authentic self. Don’t assume a persona you think the recruiter wants to see. You can put on an act for only so long. Eventually, you will have to be yourself, and the two personalities, when juxtaposed, everyone will see through your action.